BRANDON LEE LAST INTERVIEW DURING FILMING OF THE CROW

EXTENDED FUNBOY SCENE:THE CROW

This is the directors cut extended scene of Funboy's demise in the movie The Crow. Why they shortened it, I have no idea. It was good scene.

BRANDON LEE'S THE CROW WAS AN AWESOME MOVIE

"Suddenly I heard a tapping, as of someone gently tapping...you heard me tapping right?"

"Mother is God in the lips and hearts of all children...morphine is bad for you. Your daughter is out there on the streets waiting for you."

A brilliant movie I tell you. For one whole summer I watched Brandon Lee's The Crow every night. I didn't go out with any of my friends. I just stayed home and became a hermet. It was the best summer of my life. To this day I still know everyone of his lines in the movie. The weird thing is I don't own a copy of the movie. 

Truely Brandon Lee's best movie of his short career. I keep telling everyone if he was still with us, he'd have been Neo in the Matrix series. Cause I mean come on Keanu doing kung fu? It was ridiculous. It was like watching Sean Penn go full retard in I Am Sam. In fact it was like watching a retard doing kung fu. BL would have been perfect for the Matrix. He knows kung fu [thanks to his father the master] and he spoke well. Unlike Keanu who still sounds like a high surfer dude.

The other movies of The Crow series were nothing but a joke to Brandon's. BL became The crow, he will always be remembered as The crow. He's made the image into an icon.

I just literally read on IMDB.com that there is a reboot of The Crow movie in the works. Directing it will be Stephen Norrington director of Blade and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Honestly I can't think of anyone that could match BL's performance. The only one that would come close would be Heath Ledger...but he's no longer here.  It would have to be a no name actor, because I can't see anyone in Hollywood right now that could come close to filling BL's shoes. It's a tall task to take on. I hope they make it worth the watch. We'll see.

THE NEW YEAR NOTHING SPECIAL JUST A NEW NUMBER

Since I'm on a tirade this morning I thought I would continue with the upcoming New Year. For the country it is going to be a momentous year. Because the first black man will be sworn in as President of the United States. Which then of course will bring a lot of death threats and assassination attempts on his life.  But it will also be a test to see if America can rebuild it's image.

It's an exciting time for most people but for the few like myself 2009 will start off on a bad note. And will most likely escalate into more terrible situations and issues. It's the story of my life basically. The question is how long can I stand to live life this way? How long can any one of us live life in terrible situations?

With that said, what is there to look forward to on New Years? It's just another year, one number higher than the last. It's like someone who counts really really super duper slow has been counting all these year. It's really not a big deal. It's really just an excuse to party and drink.

The funny part is at the beginning of the new year every one's got their list of things they are going to do different the new year. But after a week or two or maybe even a month, they forget about it and it never gets accomplished. We get this false sense of a fresh start at the new year, it's kinda like a meth head completing rehab and a week later he's back to getting at fix. It's a temporary feeling.

I'll tell you what he meaning full new years is. The turn of a millennium for one. That's a historic event. Like 8 years ago when it turned 2000. Everyone was scared that all computers personal and professional would somehow go nuts with the turn of the millennium.  The Y2K bug. Nothing serious came of it. The media hyped it up and blew it out of proportion...as usual. But people did freak out. A lot of people prepped their emergency supplies. Buying up bottled waters and canned foods. While ones with military connections amassed MREs to last them for a whole year.

Well anyways my eyes are hurting now and my pies are still baking in the oven [still prepping for the New Years eve party tonight]. Marjorie [I know you're reading this] I might have an egg/custard pie for you. All depends on how this batch turns out. Expect a text later today.

THE HILLS? OLD NEWS IT'S THE CITY NOW

Well our Manhattan "fresh air" loving girl from the The Hills, Whitney Port has her own show, The City. It followers her life as she moves up the ladder in the fashion industry, as only a white person can truly move up, booge [urban slang for stuck up].

Being on an aggravated mood lately as I was watching one of the episodes last night I couldn't help but get angry when Whitney and her "City" friends went out to eat at a nice rooftop restaurant. I literally wish I could have gone there, walked up to their table and said "So which one of you booge bitches wants to get thrown off the roof firs?"

The shows as lame as The Hills. It follows pretty much the same formula. We already are getting a glimpse of who's the evil menace on the show. It's the girl that works with her. Then she's got the annoying Australian boyfriend, who happens to be a rocker I think. I don't know I don't give a shit. But that accent is so fucking annoying.

The Hills fans will love the show as much as they loved The Hills.

Whatever...dumb asses. Well I'm off to prep of fucking new years eve dinner. It's fucking 12:30am and I have to prep for tonight's dinner already. Fuck just call me TOP CHEF.

Oh if you're wondering why I'm writing "Fuck" a lot. I figured I'd get my fucking fucks in before the new fucking year comes. I think I hardly used this fucking word this whole year, so this is all the fucking bottled up fucks I'm letting out.

CELEBRITY HAIDER GOES MYSPACE

Okay so I did what I never thought I'd ever do. I joined in on the myspace scene. Hey it's all for networking and promoting my agenda. That's why I finally did it. Besides I'm pushing the clothing line that I'm in on with my business partner Alix Ako. So what.

It's not about the social scene. It's about using people to get the word out about ME. I am Chris Haider and everyone will know my name. That's my approach to it. I'm tired of being a nobody. So I'm gonna use myspace to be somebody. I just have to figure out if I want to be the person people love to hate...like the lovely Spencer and Heidi or do I want to be well liked like Will Farrell....Nah, Heidi and Spencer. Thas me...

Heck my goal for 2009 is to be one of the most hated personalities there is. I'm tired of being nice. It's just so weak.

Anyways myspace yea I'm on it. Fuck it. Fuck you! Fuck everything, Fuck everyone! Happy Fucking NEW YEARS! Fuck the new year!

Can you tell I'm a whole lot of aggravated right now? Well if you knew all the shit I'm going through right now you'd understand.

Oh by the way my myspace URL is www.myspace.com/celebrityhaider

DENNIS MILLER IS A GRADE "A" DOUCHE BAG

Nobody really liked his comedy before when he was doing the news on Saturday Night Live. No one likes his comedy still. A retard telling jokes is funnier than. Mr. Educated comedy man Dennis Miller.

Who changed his tone of comedy to more of a racist tone after 9/11. Now he pretty much views every Muslim person as a terrorist. His answer to terrorism is to bomb all the middle eastern countries. Pretty much fuck'em kill all the women and children while your at it is his stance. He's just a real grade "A" douche bag that belongs buried somewhere in death valley.

Elton John best put it after his performance following Miller's 20 minute right tilting comedy at a charity event in Las Vegas in 2003 "Americans are always asking why the rest of the world hates them. Well, the reason is Dennis Miller. You've all gone mental if you like that.

Recently Miller has been taking jabs at Obama. Talking about the only topic Republicans liked to talk about when talking about Obama, his past associations. From all the crap he was talking about, it pretty much sounded short of calling Obama a towel head and Nigger. That's what I got from his tone. I mean the guy is a volcano of hatred and anger. More so than myself I might add. He's all about America! Fuck everyone else. That's his angle of thought.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's called the coming inauguration of President-Elect Obama the in"nigger"ation. Heck I've heard it around here and it's just ignorance at it's best. And this I heard from a minority mind you. You see here the older generation Filipinos are very conservative and simple minded. The younger generation is full of free thinkers and hopeful optimists. Dennis Miller is part of that old generation of conservative thinking. I mean the guy was born in 1953. I'm sure he hates gays and feels we should bomb them as well.

I say if you've got your head on straight [like I do] than you say FUCK YOU! Dennis Miller. I hope you die soon because your life isn't worth shit. You child molesting, pedophile looking mutha sucka.

WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY A CULT CLASSIC

Remember during those rainy days or special movie treats in elementary, the teacher would ask what movie the class would like to watch? And what was the majority of the suggestions be? Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with Gene Wilder.

I loved that movie when I was a kid and as an adult it's still one of my all time top 5 favorite movies. Gene Wilder was just amazing in that movie. I'd compare it to the performance of Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight. You're just so captivated by his performance. He was erratic and psychotic, but he was always thinking 5 steps ahead. Everything was planned out perfectly. Just like Heath's Joker in the Dark Knight.

The way the screen play was modified and tweaked from the original book was nothing sort of genius. From the countless literature quotes referenced by Willy Wonka to the meaningful songs of the Oompa Lompas the movie was extraordinary.

Then Tim Burton got the right to do a remake. He hired an amazing actor to play Willy Wonka, Johny Depp. But boy were both terribly wrong for this movie. Tim Burton's vision for the movie was disgusting to watch. Johnny Depp's performance was equally disgusting. Tim Burton's style is out of date. It's circa 1990s. And Depps interpretation of Wonka was as if he were imitating Michael Jackson. And don't get me started with the Oompa Loompa [singular] . Tim Burton totally missed the essence of the original movie. The formula that made it such a cult classic. I would not ever dare purchase Tim Burtons version, in fact if someone gave it to me as a gift I would throw it away in front of their face. I would consider it as an insult that they would think of giving that to me as a gift.

MANDONNA THE MAN THING

"Yea I'm Mandonna! I'm fucking sexy! I wish I had a penis in the shape of a guitar so I can play sweet music with it while I jam it up your ass!"

Seriously if you offered me $10 million dollars I would not sleep with this man thing. Not even for the $76 million that Guy Ritchie earned getting butt raped by Mandonna for a few years.

$100 million plus, than I might consider taking it up the ass from Mandonna for a year.

But offer me $250 million and I'll be happy to take it up there for two years while saying "Thank you sir, may I have another!" the whole time. Of course I'll never be looked at the same way again but at least I'll be one rich bitch.

MORE HAIDER RANT ABOUT GANGSTA'S

"A harmless gangsta is a dead gangsta." You're stupid to think you're safe because the leader of a gang is locked up in prison? What you don't realize is that by keeping him alive he  gives orders and runs the gang from the comfort of his own cell. We pay for his food, clothes and living conditions while he's in prison. That feel good to you? That your hard earned tax paying dollars go to giving these thugs a comfortable life? While a lot of us go homeless with this disgusting economy? We loose everything...no food, no clothes, no decent living conditions. For you and your wife and kids. But these losers get everything for free. That make you feel good?

I say execute all harden criminals and gangstas. For the petty criminals, house them until their time is served and put them on probabtion for longer periods. That should free up a lot of over crowded prison facilities, which can then be converted as a means to house and help the less fortunate. I'd rather have my tax paying dollar go to someone that is seeing hard times.

I really loathe gang members and piece of shit thugs. I laugh when I hear a gang member is killed in the evening news. There should be no place in society for them. Glorifying their life styles should be a crime.

And there should be no place for people like PST Gear who glorify that lifestyle. Ha, thought I'd throw that in there.

GANGLAND THUGS GLORIFIED BY MTV, BET, AND THE MEDIA

I now and then watched an episode of the History Channels series "Gangland" and as usual I was disgusted at what I saw. The story of another retard with an IQ of an apple puts together an elaborate organization of piece of shit gangsters. Who terrorize and destroy their neighborhoods just so they can stuff their pockets with drug money.

Black people in run down communities blame everyone else for their situation, but the never look to blame the real cause of it. The gang ruling their neighborhoods and cities. Why? Because they are afraid of getting killed for speaking out.

But you know who else is to blame? MTV, BET, the media, and Hollywood. MTV gave a lot of these thugs that platform to spew out their venom's, so did BET. The media would create a love affair with these thug rappers and the audience [us, the viewers] and of course Hollywood would come in and glorify that love affair.

Now those thugs that used to do nothing but contribute to the death of their communities are now living lavish life styles. Mingling with celebrities. Making millions of retarded rap jingles. And becoming role models to the young generations.

Who are these thug rappers? Here's to name a few: Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, 50 Cent, The Game, and Lil Wayne. Most have criminal records, most have served some time in the system. But yet most are considered role models to kids. It goes to show how out of whack our society has gotten through the influence of television and the media.

I am a strong believer that harden criminals and gang thugs DO NOT deserve a second chance in life. I don't believe they are worth the air they breathe and therefore should be put down. Much like a mad/wild dog is put down. But as long as our nation is filled with peace loving, God loving conservatives the problem will continue until the end of civilization. 

Glorified drug selling thug 50 Cent should not be making millions and millions of dollars from the people. He is nothing but a user and abuser of the people. He sold drugs that killed a lot of people. He has no remorse for that. Don't bother him. As long as it filled his pockets with cash. He should be seen for what he really is a low-life drug dealing loser. But no he's not, he's been glorified by Hollywood as a kid who tragically lost his mother, who in the aftermath of the loss had to hustle his way into becoming a man and then becoming a gangsta rapper. Now that's the American dream right there ain't it?

It's crap that's what it is. Rap has gone from it's roots being a positive force to a negative force that exploits money, sex, drugs, guns, and murder.

If Obama really wants to make a change. He needs to destroy gangs in America. 

WHITNEY PORT NIP ENJOYING SOME "FRESH AIR"

So I was searching around for Whitney Port images to use for my last post when low and behold I hit paydirt. The Whitney Port nipslip! Here you go enjoy.

Bikini tans are so not hot. But seeing one of her twins out getting some "fresh air" is totally hot.

WHITNEY PORT LOVES THAT MANHATTAN FRESH AIR

The Hills Whitney Port recently declared that she loved the "fresh air" of Manhattan. Either she's a stereotypical "dumb blonde" or what she meant by that is compared to Los Angeles, Manhattan air is fresher. That would make more sense, considering the air in Los Angeles is pretty close to being hazardous waste.

But I'm not giving her that much credit. She's a dumb dense blonde. If it has nothing to do with materialistic fashion than it's all alien to her.

SPENCER & HEIDI AS FAKE AS HER BREASTS

The two fakest people alive again live up to their name. The Superficial.com reports that the AP looked into their court marriage, that aired on the season finale of the The Hills. But the AP found out that the scene in the show was staged by MTV and was filmed in a court room after hours. Also that the judge presiding over them on the show isn't really a judge. Says the Beverly Hills Courts.

At this point nothing surprises me with these two. I mean they are the most talentless couple you could ever imagine. Not to mention everything about them is fake.

I'm glad that The Hills' run is probably done and will now move on to Whitney who moves to New York City to work in the fashion industry.

Spencer & Heidi have bragged about TV deals to do their own show for awhile now but nothing has materialized and nothing will. I suspect Spencer will pop in every now and then on friend Brody's show Bromance.

Soon everyone will forget about these two fake ass losers.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS SEE YOU ALL IN 2009

Enjoy the holidays! Be with your families and take responsibility by being there for your kids this Christmas [man up]. Make sure they have nothing less than a wonderful Christmas.  Cherish in their joy as they open presents, relish in their care free state of mind being children. Live through them. 

Don't be like A-Rod and ditch your family to receive strap-on lovin from Mandonna on Christmas. It's just not right.

Be appreciative of what you have, not what's in box. 

With that said you better do as I say or else I'm sending over these two blondes to rough you up. Oh and did mention they'll be strapped with strap-ons?

Merry Christmas!

PHILIP RIVERS: THE GREAT WHITE SNUB

Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm a big Chargers fan...even though I divorced them this year for embarrassing  in front of all the Chargers haters this season. Being they have so much "talented" players. But one player that I've always talked about since his draft has been Philip Rivers. I will back him til his careers over. Even when he starts to show his age. Because he'll go done as the Chargers greatest QB ever. Even better than Dan Fouts. And I'll tell you why I think that...

Since taking the reigns from Drew "incompetent" Brees he's shown why he was drafted. His first year as a start he went 14-2. His second year as a starter he had a slow first half of the season, but drastically improved in the second half and by the end playing in the AFC championship game with two blown out knees, he became a hero to everyone in the league. He failed to disclose to the public that both his knees where hurt with one severely injured, that it required surgery, but despite it all, including the pain he decided postpone the surgery til after the title game. His toughness drowned out all the hateful feelings that a lot of people had for Rivers because of his sideline antics and verbal discussions with fans and players of the opposing teams last season.

This season Rivers came back from surgery  stronger and better than he's ever been. He currently leads the league in passer rating with 101.4. With 3,515 yards passing and  28 touchdowns and only 11 INTs. His yard-per-attempt average is 8.2. Despite the stellar stats in his third starting season. He becomes the big "Snub" of this years pro bowl.  He was beat out by the ever so popular Brett Favre. Who's stats "this season" aren't up to par compared to Rivers. Favre has a passer rating of 86.5. His passing yards are 3,052 with 21 TDs and 17 INTs. His yard-per-attempt average is 6.8. So how does he become the starting QB and Rivers doesn't?

It's simple. The players and fans around the league still see Rivers as the guy who likes to talk it up to the fans and other players. They still have this distaste for him as a guy who trash talks to much on the field. Players like Dre Bly from the Broncos last season claimed that Rivers was a nobody, that he didn't deserve respect because he hasn't done anything [at the time got upset with him] in the league to show he's deserving. But after finishing TOUGH and STRONG last season and continuing into this season. Bly wouldn't and couldn't say he hasn't done anything because he has. He's one of the top QB's this season, despite his teams sorry record. Bly and other players and fans that still dispise Rivers won't give him the respect he deserves so to snub him out of the Pro Bowl is their way of showing their dislike for him. Who has shown Chargers fans that he's the real deal QB that the team has desperately been seeking for since the retirement of Stan Humphries and the Dan Fouts era.

And then there's Brett Favre. Who really needs to get his last name respelled, because I'm tired of putting the "R" before the "V" [the way it should be spelled considering how he pronounces it]. Anyways. Favre. By far one of if not the greatest QB of all time, toppling even the great Joe Montana. Everyone loves Favre. I love Favre. He's great, BUT has he had a great year this season with a New Team? No.  Does he deserve to be in the Pro Bowl? No. But since he's so well liked and everyone thinks he could retire again after this season they want to seem him play as much as they can he's in. 

But Rivers who deserves it more, doesn't because he's still disliked. Even if the Chargers miraculously make it to the playoffs and win it all in the end all because of Rivers' performances he still won't get respect from players like Bly and fans alike. Because to them he's just the talker and nothing more. They won't accept that he's the man that can talk the talk and walk the walk.

And really how is diabetic boy [Jay Cutler] in the pro bowl over Rivers?  Cutler has a QB rating of 88.6. He doesn't deserve to be there over Rivers. He deserves a pro bowl anal [I don't even know what...yea]. Someone seriously give him some ICE in paradise. Really someone switch his insulin shot with a shot of crack. Better yet someone over sugar his food or change his Gatorade to red bull or any highly sugared energy drink. It would be entertainment to see him just pass out into a diabetic coma on the field.

Anyways bottom line is Brett Favre is in because he's so well liked. Rivers is out because he's so well hated. Cutler is in because he gives good head to Ref's that call a game in his favor.

AKO APPAREL REPPIN @ WOWOWEE SAN DIEGO

Here's a little clip of Ako Apparel's apparance on Wowowee tour in San Diego. One of the dancers are sportin it during Billy Crawfords performance...

PST GEAR: CHRIS HAIDER PUTS 'EM ON BLAST

So being baised because I'm affiliated with another clothing company starting up here sunny SD, have to TALK DOWN to the competition. And that competition is PST [Pinoy Street Team] Gear. Or they like to call themselves PI PIMPS.

Here comes my rant...ready?

I call them ass punks. Any crew that dubs themselves pimps are fucken PUNKS! Most of this crew is in their late 20s and early 30s but they still act like their still in High School.

Let's look at their mission statement:

"Our Mission is to evoke Philippines Culture through a clothing line inspired by the various leaders and life styles throughout the world. Our Vision is to support and promote greatness within the Philippines Community on a world platform through sponsorships of specific individuals, groups, and organizations with common goals. Tight designs with an O.G. gee. Spittin out the Sickest Designs to Pinoys and Pinays for a mass appeal of style n originality."

I got stomach cramps from laughing so hard. "to evoke Philippines Culture..." He keeps referring to us "Filipinos" as Philippines. I'm willing to bet that the owner wasn't born in the PI or lived in the PI to an age where he could remember it. 

I look through their website and all their so called "Tight Designs" are at best novice. Their website itself was designed nicely by a web guy. But their clothing designs look like they're designed by someone that never took a single graphic design class. It looks like someone got their hands of a hacked copy of Adobe's Creative Suite and tried to teach himself graphic design...and boy did he fail miserably.

And now they've pushed out Manny Pacquio shirts [and I don't think they licensed to use his likeness] because of the big Pacquio/DeLa Hoya fight. They're the shirts above...I know, one of the ugliest shirts I've ever seen.

All their promoting is essentially "wanksta" gear. All their photos, designs and sponsored people are all thugs. They embrace the gangsta lifestyle. They want to be hardcore thugs. Bandanna's? That's not the Filipino Culture. That's the whack Americanized Pinoys that black. It's not the true essence of Filipino's. They've totally missed the mark. I'm not down with punks like these guys. PI Pimps...are you in high school still? Lame. Really really lame.

It's all a big party for these guys. I mean the owner was part of the big party promoters in San Diego...Legend Entertainment. So I mean he's definitely got that party scene mentality. You know the immature mentality that most of us had when we were in HIGH SCHOOL! Dude you're over 30 man...grow up and do a clothing line that has a mature tone to it. Not not stupid gangster crap.

The only thing these fools have going for them is they have money to produce a lot of products.  But who really wants to buy products with poor design quality? These designs would be laughed at on the mainstream platform. They just aren't well thoughtout designs. They're so over designed...cluttered.

I'm saying it because my friends would never say it. Because they're to nice over there. But since Chris Haider likes to step on toes it's no big deal for me to do it. Hey it's all shits n giggles to me. Just another day in the life of a hater.

BRUCE LEE KARATE CHOP PAINTING

Keeping with the Bruce Lee theme here. My friend told me about this dude that painted Bruce Lee on a wall with his hands in a karate chop motion...jus watch the vid.

NOKIA N96 BRUCE LEE LIGHTING MATCHES COMMERCIAL

Here's another commercial from the Nokia Bruce Lee campaign. Amazing...

NOKIA N96 BRUCE LEE PING PONG COMMERCIAL

This has got to be one of the best commercials ever...the greatest martial arts fighter of all time is back for a brief moment...

SPENCER & HEIDI: WHY WHY WHY DO WE PAY ATTENTION TO THEM?

I'm about fed up with seeing these to goobers on the cover of the tabloids and being talked about on a weekly basis. Them and Britney Spears. But at least Britney has done something to get the attention and fame.

These to lame ducks are on a stupid scripted so-called reality show. That's it. But yet they're making tabloid cover after cover.

Who really cares about their lives? Seriously. I mean Lauren Conrad is a fame seeker/junkie herself. I mean look when a friend gets to much attention from the media she drops them like bees on a corpse.

But these two are by far the worst. The live on being the so called evil villans in this poorly written scripted show. Well not as poor as my articles and rants on this blog. But still those two need to disapear for reals. They just get on my nerves like heck. If I ever saw him I think I'd throw eggs at them, rotten ones.

The day they disappear from the public eye and the tabloids I will not pick up another tabloid mag. I'm on tabloid strike until they get rid of Spencer & Heidi from their paper and not to mention Britney crap.

RYAN SEACREST: A GOLDEN MICROPHONE

Yes Ryan Seacrest has a golden microphone. I saw a clip of on his radio talk show gig earlier this week and I quickly noticed that the microphone he's talking to was gold.

Wow what a narcissistic little prick. How pompous is that? Gee, even the great King of all Media himself HOWARD STERN doesn't have a gold microphone.

Who the fuck has a such an ego that he would get himself a golden microphone? Ryan Seacrest of course. I really don't understand why this guy is so sought after. I mean he's just another Carson Daily. No better or no worse. But he's quickly becoming the king of all media. Howard Stern has nothing on Seacrest. Howards just king of Satellite at this point.

WANTED: EXCITING MOVIE BUT MISSING SOMETHING

What was missing was the suit that's featured in the comic book and in the video game based on the movie. It would have been real cool if he donned the suit.

Other than that the movie looked great. Very fun to watch and Angelina Jolie...what can you say. She's smoking hot. A little to skinny in this movie though, but still freaking hot!

I really would have liked to see the suit worn in this movie. Well if there's a slight chance that a sequel were to come out than I hope the suit makes it's debut.

How many of us feel like the normal life that we lead isn't what our destiny had in store for us? I feel that way everyday. What if you could wake up one morning and told that you had a special gift that you where skilled in ways you could only imagine? I would freaking take full advantage of it.

ANGELINA JOLIE WANTED BATH SCENE A DIG ON ANISTON?

Now in the movie The Breakup with Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston does a nude scene where she exposes her bare ass. It was a scene I didn't care for to much. In fact it probably is the only need scene that I didn't stop and pause and replay. I just didn't want to.

Skip ahead a couple of years to Angelina Jolie's movie Wanted [based on the comic book] and Jolie has a nude scene. The difference between Jolie's and Aniston is that Jolie only flashes her assets briefly before covering up with a towel. Aniston on the other hand [is desperate for attention] bares it for a good minute or a little less. Plus Jolie's worth pausing and rewinding and playing over and over again...because Jolie is smoking hot compared to the aging average talent Aniston.

Here's a clip of that scene just in case the picture wasn't good enough for you...

CHARGERS: A GOOD TEAM GONE BAD

So I was at a friends party and of course the fellas talk nothing but sports. I telling myself that I didn't want to get into any conversation about football because I've turned a cold shoulder to this Chargers squad. I know, people have been on my case about that. Calling me a band wagoner...I just laugh it off. Because I know I've been a Chargers fan since 93 or so. So I've been there with the Ryan Leaf mess. I've been there when they were 1-15. In fact I tell others I'd rather have that 1-15 right now than the team we've got right now. Why? Because at least with the 1-15 team they new they sucked there was no talent there at all. 

But this team. 

Was praised by the NFL as one of the most talented squads to ever be assembled. Really? I don't fucking see it. DO YOU? Their franchise player [Ladanian Tomlinson] has more success with commercials than he does on the field. A 1.7 average yards per carry against the Atlanta Falcons? "Oh it's cause he doesn't have Lorenzo Neal blocking for him anymore." is the common excuse given by a hardcore LT fan. My response to that? He didn't have LoNeal before he, and he was doing fine. It looks like now that he DEPENDED on LoNeal too much. Now that he doesn't have that luxury he can't make it happen. He can't make anything happen. Michael Turner doesn't have a LoNeal, he's tearing shit up. He makes it happen on his own. It's clear now LT's NFL age is showing, it's also clear that AJ should have tagged Turner or ensure he's still around just to ultimately be the replacement for LT. But then again he should have fired Marty earlier and made Wade Philips the head coach. But what is a missed opportunity is a missed opportunity. 

It is what it is.

The only two players that really are giving it their all is Philip Rivers and Malcolm Floyd. My friend jumped on me for saying that about Rivers and unfortunately I wasn't able to throw a comeback on his comment that Rivers is the reason we're losing, because I had my god damn kids driving me crazy at the party and I was a little off that day. So sorry James but here's my rebuttal...

Damn fucking right he's the best player on the team this season. He's the only one out there that's acting like he wants to play and win. His first half of the season was crazy. He'd bring them back from deficits his Defense would put them in and he would find a way to claw back. Of course we all know what happened to a lot of those comebacks. Like in Denver. The refs would be hating on the bolts and the defense who couldn't stop a one armed one legged QB with an o-line of retarded midgets throwing to a blind wide receiver with his arms and fingerless hands extended hoping the ball will find it's way to pay dirt...and it always did. The story of the Chargers defense this season, destroying Rivers comeback 4th Qtrs...but don't look at Rivers to blame them, he's to much of a team player to point fingers. Rivers has continuously given the Chargers new hope. His ability to keep going and finding ways to give his receivers countless opportunities to make a play shouldn't go unacknowledged.

Rivers can't help it that he gave Jackson at least 4 perfect deep balls this season, that if he didn't let slip through his hands would have resulted in long TDs, he gave him the opportunity. Jackson just failed to take it. In fact the only dependable target he has who's made big play after big play is Malcolm Floyd and he was the number 4 or 5 receiver [now number 3]. He most likely is now known in the locker room as Mr. Dependable. Because you can count on him to make a play.

But back to Rivers.

So now in the second half of the season people are now on his case for the costly mistakes as of late. We'll you know, you'd make a lot of mistakes too if your O-line all of a sudden forgets how to keep you safe and most of your targets don't know how to get open at all. So he's left with two options keep taking sacks or try to make a play to keep you going. Hence his regrettable INTs. So excuse him for trying to make something happen when clearly most of your star players on the offense are clearly NOT trying...LT.

Final outlook...the Chargers are not the most talented squad praised by the NFL analysts. Now they say on paper they look good, but that's about it. They've become the laughing stock of the NFL. Right now with so many so called talented players they look worse than the Detroit Lions and the Oakland Raiders. They made all of us who backed them up against Denver, New England, KC, and Raider fans look stupid. They spit on our face after we defended them. Accepting any loss is a sign of a loser. They've accepted their season is a loss. They truly are losers. Madden said it best himself. "The Chargers are a GOOD team in the NFL. They are not a GREAT NFL team."

My suggestion to the Chargers. Don't fire Turner...demote him to offensive coordinator. And hire Bill Cowher as head coach. Look for a power runner to replace Tomlinson. In fact try to trade him plus Antonio Gates or Chambers and a first round pick to the Raiders for McFadden. And AJ do not I repeat DO NOT start next season without securing Merriman with a new contract. Keep him. You see what happens the D without him? Be smart...okay I'm tired of this rant. I'm sure most of you as well...

NATALIE PORTMAN DOESN'T UNDERSTAND CELIBACY

The Superficial reports that Natalie Portman turned down a roll as a nun in a movie because she didn't understand celibacy. The question is does that mean she doesn't understand it because she doesn't know what the term celibacy is or that she doesn't understand why people live by it. I'll take the latter part.

I guess she won't pretend to be celibate for a movie roll because it goes beyond her beliefs. Which would mean she believes in fucking. Hot nasty probing sex all the time. Nothing less and awhole lot more if you got something to add. I now believe she's a dirty little cunt. I wonder if she's up for anything...anything but CELIBACY that is. Wow I bet all the Star Wars geeks out there are at full light saber attention.

Come on, guys that have had the Natalie experience please come out and share your stories. I'm pretty sure they're interesting...very interesting.

THE DUMBASS AWARD THIS YEAR GOES TO PLAXICO BURRESS

New York Gaints star wide receiver Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg at a club over the weekend when his gun slipped out of his waistband down his pant leg. He attempted to show off his WR hand skills by quickly securing the handgun but he fumbled around with it in his pant leg and accidentally pulled the trigger and shot himself. Luckily for him the bullet went in and out without hitting a bone. 

Then with his quick wit he concocted a master plan to have his teammate Linebacker Antonio Pierce take the piece and stash it. Also he would not call for medical help, he thought he would just walk it off. I mean if went cleanly through it's all good right? Ah NO genius. Again, luckily for him his wife is the smart one. She and a friend took him in [2 hours after the shooting] to get treated.

He reportedly told the security guards at the front of the club that he had a hand gun but he kept it as protection, because he carries a lot of cash and is decked out in bling. Little did they know that he would try to mug himself later on in the club.

Dumbass of the year award goes to...[drum roll] Plaxico Burress!

A-ROD FEELS THE HEAT FROM THE MEDIA

A-Rod on the ditching his kids on Thanksgiving for Mandonna speculation...

"Hmm people are getting on my case because I don't want to spend my Thanksgiving with my kids. So I'll take them out to dinner Tuesday night in front of the paparazzi so they'll get off my back and I guess I'll have to then eat a quick Thanksgiving meal with the kids on Thursday before booking it in my Porsche @ 4pm to get to Mandonna's house in time to receive that strap-on action...yea I'm a good dad."

image courtsey of The Superficial

BRITNEY BRITNEY BRITNEY...CUT THE BS YOU'RE STILL THE SAME

Knock the reformed girl act already Britney. We all know that you haven't changed. We all also know that if you're dad isn't there to keep you on lock down you'd be out there coking up with Lohan or partying with that loser paparazzi dude you were banging.

I just love on the MTV special how you say you've matured so much.

But weren't you whining like a little brat the other week about how your dad won't let you go out and party and that you'd rather been in jail then to be on locked down by your dad? Weren't you complaining to the judge?

The tabs have tagged you as a little brat. I've tagged you as annoying ungrateful little cunt.

You're lucky you're dad's looking out for your well being. If you let your mom take care of you, we all know what happens when that takes place. You're off running around fat, with short skirts, pantie less and walking into a nasty dirty gas station bathroom bare footed. 

Without daddy you're an out of control fat nasty cunt. With daddy you're an in line, fit, clean, little cunt. Either way you're a cunt to me, but at least with daddy you're a much more tolerable cunt.

Enuff said.

VH1 WHERE THE LOW LIFES GO TO PITCH A SHOW

If you could name one television network a reality producing whore. VH1 wins hands down. They will produce anything. Like this show "Real Chance of Love". Real and Chance are BFF's. They were on another sorry show called "I love New York" she was another loser on another lame show "Flavor or Love." It's all an ugly confusion and do I literally mean UGLY!

Anyhow now these two clowns have their own show and they're trying to find love. Yea like TV love is real nor does it ever work out.

These two rejects crack me up. They are the most ugly and lamest bachelors out there. Do they really think the girls on the show want to hook up with these two clowns? Well maybe, have you seen the bunk ass girls on the show? Ahmo aka MILF ain't no MILF. She ain't turning nothing on but a redneck McCain supporter.

How ugly mugs uglier than ME get their own show and reality fame, not to mention paid for this shit is beyond my comprehension. Their really is no GOD, either that or he's one fucked up mutha sucker. Like these two low life's deserve what they've gotten. The entertainment industry is one HELLISH place.